I don't like kids much. In fact, they generally piss me off a ton. Some may argue that I'm almost a kid myself. I tell those people to shut up. Below are the top 10 reasons why you (I) don't like small children:
#10: They're Small
First of all, shut up. I know I'm "short" too. But Im taking about the kids who are 3 foot 1 and run around screaming "MUFASA!!!". They're just to small to bare to look at.
#9: They Talk to Much
And they do. A ton. They just keep asking questions about nothing and you want to tell them to jump off a cliff but if you do they'll start crying (see reason #4).
#8: They're Spazzes
They just run around naked like "You're stupid!" and Im like "You're the one with no pants on." Then they go "What!!! HAHAHAHAHA! YOU HAVE NO PANTS ON!!!" (in that annoying sing-song voice) It makes me want to kill something. Like them.
#7 Some are Smarter Than You
First of all, how dare they? There was this kid at my summer camp who was like 7 and he could lecture us for hours. Little bastard. They come up to you and ask "whats the square root of 4,320?" and you obviously dont know off the top of your head (or later when you have a calculator) so of course they tell you the answer and you have the sudden urge to see if you can fly off that 8 story tall building over there.
#6: The Rest are Way to Stupid
And then there's the total dumbass kids. You ask them a simple question, like "can I see that sheet of paper you're holding?" and they're like "see what?" So I get up, walk away, and bash my head with a brick so I can forget that that conversation ever happend. Stupid bastards.
#5: They're Brats
Some of these stupid little kiddies are spoiled little shits sometimes. "Can I see that please?" "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" "Why not?"
"BECAUSE IT'S MINE GO AWAY!!!!!"
#4: They're Wussies
They cry about everything. I saw a 9-year old fall down and scrape his leg. The little shit started crying his pants off, So I stood over him, looked down, pointed, and laughed. I got over scrapes when I was like 5. So I say "Get up you little bastard, or Santa Claus will eat you!" and they cry some more. hahaha.
#3: They're Way too Gulible
Actually, this is probably the thing I like most about kids. You can make a kid believe anything. For example:
"Don't go over there..."
"WHY NOT!"
"Because there's a dragon over there that eats kids."
"Really???"
"Yes and his name is Steve."
"Really?"
"Yup."
"COOL!"
Then he'll go tell everyone of his stupid little friends, and they'll all believe him cause they're little shits too. haha.
#2: They're Noisy
This may fall under #9, but I'm talking about those funny (I mean stupid) noises they make. Their happy squeals of delight (and mine after I kill them) and the stupid noises they make when they eat. Kids are the definetly the noisest eaters ever, except for perhaps Marlon Brando. I hate them.
#1: You Cant Take the Seriously/ No one Cares What They Say
They shouldn't have the freedom of speech, or any other freedom for that matter. When you listen to kids, you know that you don't care what's coming out of their little pie holes. You just pretend like you do so they dont start crying and spazzing out. Also, a reason that should be mentioned is that they have no attention span. They're like a puppy. You give them a toy, they chew on it for like 5 seconds, then they go shit on your carpet. I hate kids.
So, those are the reasons that everybody should hate kids. Of course, you probably knew them already, you were just ignoring them. Thats the end of the list, and remember:
